Last night I had an upsetting experience in a writer-type chatroom (that I won't name here). When a soft person like me runs into a lot of hard people, I have to pick pieces of myself up off the floor for awhile. After that experience, I decided to share with you a couple writer chatrooms that are guaranteed not to hurt a new chatter's feelings, and still provide a setting to discuss writing with fellow writers.
First and foremost is Writers Chatroom . It's open twice a week (Sunday and Wednesday night), has guest speakers Sunday Nights, and encourages respect toward all chatters. It's run by Audrey Shaffer, Lisa Haselton, and Sally Franklin Christie, and ranks on Writers Digest 101 Best Websites for Writers.
The second is the chatroom for Absolute Write. It's a casual, fun chatroom with kind mods and a no-pressure atmosphere. It can be accessed through IRC (#absolutewrite) or Java (Here's the Java Chat Link). Mostly it's there if you just have to gab to your writer friends about a great (or not-so-great) writing day. The Absolute Write forums are an excellent source of encouragement, advice and critique. They're also a good source of socializing if you need more writer friends.
Remember, going into any writing chatroom, their experiences are not yours, and they have no say over your goals and dreams. All they can offer you is advice. If you have specific writing or publishing questions, try Writers Market or Publishers Market, the Savvy Authors website, etc. I am always adding new links to my Writing Links page, so check there, as well.