Monday, January 23, 2012

What am I Waiting For?

Woe is me! Actually, no. But I have had a bit of a rollercoaster day. You know the kind - where you get an up, then a down, then an up, then two downs simultaneously. Then you bring yourself up because you're really sick of the downs and refuse to think about them any more tonight. So there, rollercoaster!

Anyway, on to the topic of this entry!

I asked myself this question today: What am I waiting for? I always feel like I'm waiting for a force outside myself to tell me what to do, for circumstances to be just right. It would say "Now you will write. And it will be awesome. Then you will query, and that will be awesome too." and I would do it, because the force told me to.

But here's the thing. There is no force besides me. Family and friends can help, but I always convince myself that I need to do something else instead, no matter how many people tell me to write. (apparently I'm stubborn in a self-sabotaging way.)

Encouragement from other writers, from beta readers, and from family is great, don't get me wrong. But it's really always up to me. Myself. No one else. No one else is going to write that book for me. And I don't want them to. (Second book, by the way. I've already written the first one.)

Someone said that writing is a lonely business, and they're right. (or 'write', haha) When you finally decide to sit down at the keys and look your manuscript dead in the eyes and tell it "I am writing you!" it's just you and your words. Everything else is a distraction or a reason to procrastinate, again.

But here's something encouraging. When you emerge from that little cocoon of self-inflicted solitude, you'll have a higher word count and a greater sense of accomplishment. And then you can brag to your writer friends, tell your family, do those things that were competing for your attention while you wrote.

It won't hurt you to give your writing a few minutes of your time, no matter how many things are on your to-do list. They will always be there when you're done. - (hah, I just realized yesterday I told you to use your free time for play and tonight I'm telling you to use your time for writing! Really, it's all a balancing act. And I needed to give myself a good kick in the pants.)

My MS is waiting with open arms for me to work on it again. So, go give yours some love too.

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