Tuesday, March 27, 2012

My Entry for the Agent Invasion

For anyone who's curious, my entry for the Cupid's Literary Connection Surprise Agent Invasion contest  is #43 A SHADOW STORY. You'll get to see my query (well, technically one of my queries) and my first 250 words. There's also a post just to give shout outs and encouragement to entrants, since only agents can leave comments on the entries themselves. So, please leave your comments about the entries on the shout out page, thanks. Of course, you can also leave some comments on this blog too... (hint hint).

The contest is starting out strong with a few of the entries already getting requests! The contest will be running through April 17th, ending the day after my birthday. So, it's enough time to read the entries and cheer for your favorites. Let me know if you're in the contest so I can read your 250 and cheer you on too!

Good luck to everyone involved!


  1. I'm not a part of this contest but was in one of Cupid's other ones. These contests are so nerve-wracking and it looks like this gives you three weeks to stress!

    My query comments. Keep in mind it’s just my opinion.

    In the 1st sentence you say her mother’s dead. But then 2nd paragraph, her mother is alive. I would rewrite it as… When L. discovers her mother may be alive, this is what she has to do…

    I think your second paragraph could be tighter, but also needs more information. You need to expand slightly on the Sandman. You say he’s tracking L. Does that mean he wants to kill her? Tell us why the Sandman is tracking her and what he wants to do with her or her family.

    Last paragraph. I think you need to cut that back too. Use the words for the story part of the query. I’d do something like this.

    I have an MFA in Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design and a BFA in Drawing from Shawnee State University. I wrote an illustrated novel because I’ve always admired Alice in Wonderland and wanted to create a similar story for an older audience. I will be glad to show you the pen and ink illustrations that go with it.

    That’s pretty cool that you can write and do you own illustrations. I wish I had that talent.

    Good luck.

  2. Thanks Diana!

    Thanks for the critique, Suzi. As I mentioned, this is just one of my queries. In fact, it isn't even the one I'm currently using, but I did use it for this contest. This contest has judges that approve the queries before they make it in, so as Cupid said to me on Twitter the other night, "it has to have something!" (I was lamenting using this query at the time.)

    This contest really isn't for critique, but thanks all the same.

    I agree with you completely on the nerve-wracking!

  3. Sorry. When you wrote (hint hint) at the end of your post, I thought you were looking for comments on the query.


    Do you like that there are no critiques up on the Cupid blog? I saw the debate over that earlier.

  4. Actually... I was more hinting at a comment or a praise for the 250 words of my story. That's more important to me than the query. I'm not intending to publish my query. I would love more than anything to know what people like about my story - even if this contest only allowed me to post the first 250 words (which I don't believe is enough).

    There are so many opportunities for people's opinions on your work that it's nice to just submit without fear of critique. Absolute Write has an entire thread for critting people's query letters called Query Letter Hell. I figure that's an excellent venue for people who love and can't get enough of crit.

    As for me, while crit is necessary for improvement, all I really want is to share my story with the world.

  5. I got'cha now. And I do think it sounds like a cool story, and is something I would read. I want to know more about the mother and what happened. And the imaginary friend who's real. I like that it's sort of a mystery too, unraveling her family secrets.

    250 words doesn't seem like enough. I would agree.

    Good luck again. And I'll stop bugging you now.


I'd love to hear what you have to say!

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